Fast forward past years and years of pain!
(Cathie's own words!)

My daughter - is a heroin addict? At the age of 20??

No not my daughter - not the girl so loved and protected by her dad and me her whole life!

But it was true … and it was heartbreaking … and it consumed my life, my thoughts, my dreams.

After her first rehab stay (and there were more to come), I took her to her first counseling session. The staff there advised ME to join a codependency group.

And so I did.

And the work I did there changed my life in so many ways...

... I had to relearn that I matter, and my feelings are just as important as the feelings of other people.
... I had to stop enabling my addict.
... I also had to stop putting me on the bottom of the list.

I was worn down, angry and honestly a crying shell of a person. Fear and anger consumed me. And I could not fix my daughter (or anyone else in my life for that matter).

Fast forward past years and years of pain...

Today, my daughter is in active recovery and has been for almost five years.

She’s now 27. She’s working in the drug and alcohol field and has gone back to college (and her GPA is 3.75.)

So different from those years when I thought she was never going to be anything and that she might die.

This year, I joined The Transformative Boundaries Experience™, even though my addict daughter was in recovery and successful in her life. And even though I still participate weekly in my treasured local codependency group.

The knowledge and encouragement from Barbara, seeing the growth of others in the program, and having their support is life-changing.

What I learned (and continue to learn) is that I continually have to set boundaries with many people in my life -- and that I cannot fix them.

I still struggle with raising 2 children adopted through foster care who have
many mental health and emotional issues; many times they take their issues out on me.

They have so many needs. I can get so caught up in their needs (or anyone’s or that matter) that struggle to take care of me. I’ve learned that I’m important and I matter!

The Transformative Boundaries Experience™ actually teaches how to set boundaries that really work - and provide a plan, a framework, that I can use to work the issue through and come out with a solution that works best for me.

This program reminds me that I do matter, and I can continue to find my peace.
I encourage anyone who is struggling with a loved one who suffers from addiction or anyone who needs to set and maintain boundaries to join The Transformative Boundaries Experience™.

My childhood taught me to push my feelings, wants and emotions to the bottom of the list.

The Transformative Boundaries Experience™ has strengthened my belief that pushing myself to the bottom is wrong and hurts not only me but also everyone I love.

I’ve discovered that pushing myself to the bottom is just a story that I learned to tell myself and I can have a new story - one that includes me.

“I think it’s a great program which people
should be able to access from anywhere....
and the support is tremendous.” Trudy, Canada

"I am so proud that I took this step, researched what would work for me and found Barbara. I was a basket case, feeling all alone, lost, devastated..... now I’m hopeful! I’m much more peaceful because my son is slowly getting it, and I’m less stressed. I am excited because I can now set a strong boundary and feel confident about holding firm with it."

"I am very excited to have discovered that there is a process that really makes the boundary setting clear and I can use it whenever I need it. And I feel proud that I can stand up for myself and set boundaries clearly and stick to it. I am more confident that I have my own life, deserve my own happiness and it’s so important to take a step back and let my children grow. I am striving for growth and peace in my life. I feel emotionally better on a day-to-day basis because I am taking the time to think issues over more and not reacting in the moment which has helped with my approach. I am proud that I am now sticking up for my boundaries even though I know I will get defensive backlash, crying and yelling. Oh well – too bad for them. I am confident that I am asking normal requests and my feelings are important and if you can not follow them you do not need to be here."

"I am excited about being able to wake up in the morning and the air is clear and I don’t have to plan my life around my addict. The peace and the quiet! I feel like my life is back and I am not so isolated and drowning in the addict’s chaos. I can even have company over. I am so grateful that Barbara created this! The isolation caused so much depression and emotional chaos for me and my grandson. I now have the peace and control I have so longed for. I have learned to create boundaries and that has made me a stronger person."